Where Kuzka's mother lives
A resident of Kasimov has forged all the Russian folk euphemisms and collected them in one place – "no museum for myself."
"Holy shit," "obviously," "fuckin' theater," or even "fuckin' hell"—everyone says it in their hearts from time to time, but few can see or touch these euphemisms. That's what they're called. And the residents of Kasimov or the guests of a small hotel Oleg Kremenetsky "Kuznechny Dvor" (Blacksmith's Yard) can. Because all these "Surinamese pipas" and "damn loaves" are forged from metal and just sit there in the courtyard. "NeMoskva" visited there and once again confirmed that a provincial museum isn't boring!
This isn't a horse in a coat.
- You won't see anything like this anywhere else! — the hotel administrator declares almost immediately. — Make yourself comfortable for now, I'll show you everything later. Almost everything here was made by our Oleg Sergeyevich. And also our Oleg Sergeyevich... And recently, Oleg Sergeyevich... What a pity that Oleg Sergeyevich himself is not here now, because he has a lot to do, he's away.
Upon entering the Kuznechny Dvor, the first thing you see is a black cat on a cot by the window, then you see numerous glass display cases, behind which are horseshoes, horseshoes, and horseshoes of all kinds. These include souvenirs, protective horseshoes, horseshoe ornaments, horseshoe-shaped ashtrays, horseshoe clocks, horseshoe panels, and so on and so forth. This is the collection of Oleg Kremenetsky's wife. JuliaOn the one hand, a horseshoe is a family, home amulet; on the other, it is a symbol of a spouse's blacksmithing hobby.
The wrought-iron gates, doors, outdoor benches and tables, trash cans and ashtrays, and railings are all Kremenetsky's work. As are the tables and sofas, beds and stools in the rooms. Each one is different. "I slept on one bed, then came back the next year, got a different room, and slept on a different bed." — the owner will then explain the essence of such “dissimilarity.”
This is what they say about him in Kasimov: "A jack of all trades: entrepreneur, blacksmith, recipe collector, cook, and accomplished moonshiner—you should try his moonshine! Pure nectar.".
He does collect recipes and cook, even writing a cookbook. He experiments with moonshine recipes—purely for the taste experience, not for the sake of drinking. He's planning a culinary tour where you can sample a wide variety of dishes. But he doesn't really like to talk about it, explaining: he's tired of it, everything's already been said, it's time to get down to business, not just chat. However, he proudly talks about his collection of forged euphemisms: "There are no other sculptures like these anywhere in the world! Well, there's a 'Horse in a Coat' in Sochi, and 'Mushrooms with Eyes' in Ryazan, but those are one-off sculptures, and cast ones at that. They're much easier to make. And mine...".
Horseradish from the hill, Yoshkin cat and Etit-bolit
What's happened "angle of view"? According to Kremenetsky, it's truly a corner (in this case, of an inner courtyard), where rose-colored glasses "hover" above the wrought-iron corner. You can walk along the wrought-iron railings and peer through them at this life and the cat that's wandered off somewhere. Provincial — a rather attractive lady with glasses, braces, childish ponytails on her head, and a fiber suitcase. The slippers of a domesticated man are heavy shoes attached with a rusty chain. But the table with mugs, a fish skeleton, pickles, and a string bag with empty glass kefir bottles—that's "Nostalgia"But these aren't euphemisms, just to lighten the mood. The artist calls them "an exhibition of humorous works." A little further on, they are the real deal.
“We were thinking about what we could put in front of the entrance, just to attract attention and make people smile, — Kremenetsky recalls. — I was going over both of these in my head. And this is what happened.
Horseradish from the hill — indeed, it’s all simple: a real horseradish with a green tuft “on top” stands on a forged mound. Kick (the child called it a "coffin on wheels") - a whole composition of a one-eyed, yet cheerful monster, who controls an incomprehensible cart with a coffin, a crow with a barn lock on its beak and a wolf with a travel bundle. Pedal horse in a coat — in a blue coat and riding a pedal unicycle, Blakha-Mukha isn't what you think, but simply an insect on a soldier's belt with a massive clasp. And here's the whole composition: Edryon baton, Damn mouse и Damn louse They're drinking a shitload of moonshine accompanied by music Yoperny TheatreThere is also Yok-Makarekand Yoshkin catand Japanese policeman with Fuck! — with a big hammer, of course. The name is emblazoned above the entrance to the banquet hall, and it's a bit unusual— "EPRST".
And no swearing!
According to Kremenetsky, each figurine is made like this: first, he designs the image, draws it on drawing paper, cuts out the elements, transfers them to a sheet of iron, cuts them out, and then forges them. For larger figurines, he first installs a frame onto which he welds all the parts. It can take up to a month and a half to complete a single figurine—and that's only if he does this work, without leaving the forge.
People are usually delighted. Recently we had guests from Moscow with academic degrees—everyone was smiling and laughing. We probably only had one client who commented, "Something about you guys using a lot of swearing here." Then TV crews come and wonder how they'll air it. What can't they air? Goat-Dereza or Japanese Policeman? There's not a single swear word here; it's precisely the trend of euphemisms that replace swear words. It's a phenomenon that, for some reason, few people touch on, but it exists, and it's not swearing. — the master asserts.
He himself comes from a family of blacksmiths. His father began learning the craft as a child, back in the days when locomotive drawbars were still forged by hand. Oleg began his apprenticeship as a mature man—at 25. Now in his 50s, he owns a small forge, and blacksmithing remains purely a hobby.
The first figures in the series of euphemisms were a bunch of fucking moonshine-drinking, filthy loaf of bread, a mouse, and a louse. The penultimate was Provincial, almost ready. Clear stump, all that's left is a bit of polishing. Kremenetsky began creating the collection about seven years ago. It contains over fifty figures, 30 of which are euphemisms. He says each one is so unique that even he himself would be unlikely to create an exact replica of any of them.
"These days, everyone has problems and worries. Someone comes to the hotel on business and thinks about them, but shouldn't they smile? They need to do something cheerful. So we started writing down all these euphemisms, and look how many there are! I've almost accomplished everything I planned. We should turn the horseshoe collection and these figures into full-fledged museums, but I haven't had time to think about it yet. I didn't do all this specifically to make Kasimov a tourist destination—we're still a long way from that—but so that people would come, smile, and leave in a good mood, and a little bit of kindness would stay with us." — says Kremenetsky. — And then he will tell his friends, and they will also come and smile.
Don't smile when looking at Edrit-Madrid, creepy Fucking crucian carp or a bit scary Kuzka's mother (with little Kuzka in the palm of my hand), impossible. Kremenetsky invites everyone to visit Kasimov and advises smiling more often. And may they be with us Egyptian force, Yoksel-moxel and - where would we be without them - Holy shit.
Photo: "NotMoscow Speaking," using photographs by Oleg Kremenetsky
