"Hair is too long. It's full of demons."
Irina Raskina (name changed) enrolled her son in the Perm Orthodox Gymnasium. He completed the first year without any problems, but in the second grade, Igor (name changed) began complaining about his homeroom teacher, Elena Sergeevna. The boy had started school at the end of November because he had been away at a sanatorium. He completed his homework, and upon returning to school, he successfully passed his tests. But something went wrong in the relationship between the child and the teacher. On December 1st, Elena Sergeevna barred Igor from class, and he spent all five periods in the hallway.
“Elena Sergeevna justified her actions by the fact that he did not give me the diary to sign, - says Irina. "The teacher didn't tell me about it. I learned about it from the parents of my classmates, who were concerned about the situation. That evening, I asked my son why he hadn't handed over his diary. He cried, couldn't calm down for a long time, and said he'd simply done all his homework the day before and that's why he'd left his schoolbag there. I found out that half the class didn't have their parents' signatures on their diaries at the time, and only my son was sent out into the hallway, humiliating him in front of everyone. The teacher also said in front of the entire class that if Igor had apologized, she probably would have let him in. During recess, classmates approached my son. Some sympathized with him, while others laughed at him."
The mother contacted the principal and the head teacher and asked for a joint meeting with the teacher. Elena Sergeevna admitted that she "can't accept Igor as a child, realizing that she's doing him harm. But she can't do anything about her feelings" (quote from the audio recording of the conversation). After this, she and the head teacher began assuring the mother that Igor was a good boy, unique, talented, and head and shoulders above his classmates academically. The meeting resulted in a decision to reconcile the parties. Irina agreed, but Elena Sergeevna did not. She stopped answering Igor's calls and messages, and then completely excluded her from the class chat.
"I couldn't find out how my child was doing at school, couldn't ask him to go home, or get information about events and assignments, because everything was posted in the chat. I had to take roundabout approaches: asking parents, other teachers, the head teacher, the accountant, - says Irina. "In March, Elena Sergeevna announced that she wouldn't be taking Igor on field trips. Everyone went to the library for a reading lesson, and he was left alone in the classroom. Then we went to church, and they didn't take him again."
This school has its own unique characteristics, related to its Orthodox teaching. However, the agreement that parents sign with the administration, for example, says nothing about hairstyles or the length of hair that is acceptable for students. However, Elena Sergeyevna told Igor that his hair was too long, and that if it was, "demons would breed in it." Afterward, Father Sergiy, who is considered the children's mentor at the school and is called "godfather," spoke with the boy. When the boy asked why he had long hair, he replied that it was the priest's custom. As Igor himself recounted, Father Sergiy asked Elena Sergeyevna to love the boy. But she said she "couldn't love him."
For six months, the school principal hadn't offered any solutions to the conflict. When my mother tried calling him again, he texted her: "I'll try to persuade Elena Sergeyevna to talk to you."
Irina filed a complaint with the Perm Krai Children's Rights Commissioner's Office, the Perm Krai Ministry of Education, and other authorities. After that, the teacher became even more enraged. In the video, Igor recounts how Elena Sergeevna called him a "little traitor" and said he was no longer there for her. She doesn't listen to him or check his homework.
"At home, Igor cried and said that after his last conversation with Elena Sergeyevna, he felt scared and was afraid to approach her. And that night, for the first time in his life, he wet himself in his sleep!"
The next day, Irina herself needed help. She was taken to the hospital with neuralgia in her facial and body muscles. Afterward, she went on sick leave. Both she and her child had to see a psychologist.
Anna Oshchepkova, psychologist and expert in developmental and family psychology:
"We conducted a psychological assessment. The child is in a state of stress, not a one-time event, but rather a persistent, long-term one. He is friendly, trusts people, and doesn't understand why anyone would treat him badly.
When it comes to bullying by teachers, we always immediately advise parents to remove their child from the school, or at least from the class. We must isolate the child first, and then fight, seek justice, and protect the rights of minors.
Based on my experience, I can say that this kind of toxic teacher burnout is very dangerous for children. The adult, the teacher, essentially admits to being unfit for the profession. And the child suffers because they are unable to protect themselves from aggressive behavior…
We were unable to obtain the teacher's opinion on the conflict. The school's vice principal explained to journalists that only the principal could comment. He neither answered nor returned our calls.
Meanwhile, Irina filed a lawsuit demanding compensation for moral damages in her favor and in favor of her minor son for a total of 1,200,000 rubles.
At the preliminary hearing director of the gymnasium Petr Karelin, A lawyer for the Perm Diocese, who also works as a lawyer, explained: "<…> There is no conflict between the teacher and the child. Due to the child's inappropriate behavior, he was punished and sent to the locker room, not expelled from the classroom. To return to class, the child was required to apologize for his lie, but he refused. Furthermore, the child was assigned homework, which was also checked in April 2024, and midterm grades were entered into the child's gradebook. Regarding the teacher's refusal to take the child on field trips and excursions, this refusal is primarily related to the child's safety, as he is disobedient, jumps from playground equipment, and could injure himself. The plaintiff communicates inappropriately in the parent chat, as a result of which she was excluded from the parent chat."
The defendants did not appear at the court hearing, where all parties could have presented their case, nor did they send a representative. Witnesses testified on behalf of the plaintiff, including the children's parents, who were forced to withdraw their children and leave the school early.
Olga, mother of a former high school student:
"We had this same teacher. We lasted six months, but then I realized we had to leave or we'd go crazy. She was abusive to my daughter. She constantly bullies kids she doesn't like, blocks parents in chat, and sets kids and parents against each other.
When I started talking about our conflict, my parents pounced on me, and then they themselves told me how right I was. There's moral pressure and violence against children there. My child even stopped saying prayers after that school.
And the school administration always shifts responsibility onto you, as if there’s something wrong with you and your child.”
Having examined the circumstances of this case, the court concluded that the student had been subjected to mental and physical violence, which is prohibited by the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, the Russian Constitution, and the law on education.
The mother and child suffered not only emotional distress but also physical harm, as confirmed by medical records. Following the court hearing, the plaintiff's claims were upheld. The school must pay compensation for moral damages totaling 120,000 rubles. The court's decision has not yet entered into legal force. The school has filed an appeal.
Furthermore, at the request of Perm Children's Rights Commissioner Svetlana Denisova, the Leninsky District Prosecutor's Office of Perm conducted an inspection of the Perm Orthodox Classical Gymnasium. The inspection revealed violations of the Federal Law "On Education in the Russian Federation" dated December 29, 2012, No. 273-FZ, as well as educational ethics standards. A notice was issued to the school's director.
A Lesson for the Teacher
Schools have every opportunity to help children and teachers navigate any crisis or conflict safely and effectively, experts say. But this requires the commitment and active participation of all parties involved in the educational process.
Anna Oshchepkova, psychologist and expert in developmental and family psychology:
Why does a teacher choose a child as a victim? We need to figure this out. What's going on with them as people? If you look at teachers, their working conditions are simply hellish. They're immersed in writing plans, projects, and reports. Their primary, direct responsibility for teaching and raising children is 25th. All that's left for interacting with the child is class time, if there even is one anymore. Or maybe just "Conversations About Important Things." And teachers themselves don't notice how burnout is setting in, how they're becoming a danger to children.
I had a case from my practice. When schools closed for quarantine, I was asked to conduct a teacher assessment. At that time, there were 43 teachers working in one of the schools. Thirteen of them shouldn't be allowed near the children at all. I reported the results to the school administration. They replied, "Who's going to do the work?" So then why are we doing all this? It turns out they simply needed to spend budget money, so they conducted psychological work with the staff. But at least I was doing my job seriously, not just for show.
Then there was another similar school—eleven of the 39 students there were in the same situation. Diagnostics revealed elevated levels of aggression, anxiety, and nervous tension. The reasons needed to be determined. But none of the teachers even inquired about their own results. They refused to acknowledge the problem at all.
Anna Oshchepkova knows from experience that bullying can turn into a real tragedy. She shared a case where a teacher drove a student to the point of her going onto the railroad tracks to throw herself in front of a train. They managed to stop her. Everyone was alarmed. They decided to bring in psychologists and conduct some work. All this was done. And all the recommendations were made, including the teacher's dismissal. But two months passed. No one was fired, and the same teacher drove another child to suicide. This time, they couldn't save him.
"And when they call me again after this tragedy and ask me to work, I say, 'Why would I go? Why didn't you quarantine that teacher? The child would still be alive...'"
Elena Korchagina, historian, candidate of pedagogical sciences, former lecturer at the National Research University Higher School of Economics, the current high school teacher believes that another problem is that violence is increasingly perceived in society today as the primary solution to problems. And school is part of society.
"Children don't understand many things, and that's where childhood cruelty comes from. And that's a very scary thing. Those who are bullied are often left alone to deal with their problems, because the school immediately gives in. But it should be able to protect children, to be able to talk to everyone—children, parents, experts. But to do that, it needs to be freer. And right now, it's afraid of everything and everyone. Attacks from parents, administration, the education department, society."
Any bullying situation requires a gentle approach and support for both those being bullied and those committing it. They, too, don't know or understand how else to cope, how to accept that someone is different. I'm very sorry that social studies was removed from the curriculum; I taught it in grades 7, 8, and 9. These lessons provided an opportunity to talk to the children, including about bullying. I remember one class, we were discussing this topic, and I told them, "It's not so scary if you're on your knees, because you always have the option to get up. But the one who brought you to your knees is in a much worse situation. They have no way out." And that made an impression on them."
Moreover, schools are becoming increasingly dominated by ideology, slogans, and extracurricular activities, while values are diminishing, the expert believes. And in this situation, it's very difficult for teachers to work.
"Our school is a state institution, so it's impossible to completely resist this. But eliminating both opposition and servility is the teacher's job. School, after all, should first and foremost prepare a child for life, for entering university, for choosing a profession."
I work in a school now, and I see how difficult it is for everyone. There are schools that are still bright and cheerful, where children enjoy going. There are those that have found a balance between various activities and learning. And when bullying occurs in such schools, it looks a little different. But in schools that have lost their core, it becomes a serious problem.
For Irina and Igor, this bullying story ended with them moving to another city and going to a different school. Igor has no problems there. At his new school, no one thinks his hair might be haunted.
