Robot newlyweds singing "Mother Earth," a 65 million neural network cartoon, and a shopping mall closing for the sake of marriage: #ShameReview from "NotMoscow"
Absurd initiatives and dubious projects continue to proliferate in Russia's regions and the capital. Church representatives, government officials, and content creators compete in originality, spending millions of rubles on disastrous cartoons and proposing the closure of stores to strengthen family values.
Russia's first robot marriage and millions of dollars in neural networks
The country's first robot marriage was officially registered at Moscow's Pushkin Library. The groom at this unusual ceremony was Robert, an office worker, and the bride was the graceful ballerina Matilda. Both androids are of Chinese descent, though the organizers were quick to call them "Russian citizens."
Therefore, the wedding was accompanied by very specific rituals. Robot Robert publicly vowed never to get stuck in software algorithms, and Matilda promised to forever inspire her husband, stay cool, and maintain their connection "in every cycle of time." A robotic dog named Dogmatic brought the newlyweds their wedding bracelets, and this entire technological ceremony took place to the popular song "Mother Earth."
Digital technologies have also reached cinema, albeit with questionable financial success. The children's animated film "Daddy, Buy a Dog," intended to promote "correct values," was produced entirely using neural networks for a whopping 65 million rubles. The film's production took its creators about a year.
According to the project's creators, artificial intelligence independently generated character avatars, which, according to the idea, should be easily recognizable to young viewers. AI was also used to create complex action scenes. As producer Andrey Lipov explained, traditional rendering of such shots without the help of a neural network would have been "expensive and time-consuming." However, the cartoon was a resounding failure in its wide release, with the final box office grossing only 3,8 million rubles.
Shopping malls closed on weekends and a portrait exhibition in Kemerovo
Consequently, clergy members are also proposing their own ways to save Russian society. Maxim Minyailo, senior priest of the Church on the Blood in Yekaterinburg, has officially proposed closing large stores and shopping malls entirely on weekends to "bring life back to normal without unnecessary distractions." He believes this radical measure will guarantee the return of people to their families.
"I would structure my life so that it naturally brings people back to their families more and more often. For example, make sure they truly relax on weekends. How? Pardon the scandalous suggestion—close large stores, as they have done in France and Germany. When people have nowhere to go, they stay home. With whom? With their wife, with their husband."
As a result, while Yekaterinburg is considering restrictions for shoppers, Kuzbass is relying on visual propaganda. A large-scale exhibition has opened in Kemerovo under the grand title "They Fought for Their Country." However, contrary to expectations, it's not about veterans of the Great Patriotic War at all—the entire exhibition consists of hundreds of portraits of "heroes of the SVO" (as Russian authorities refer to the military operations in Ukraine) from that region.
As Kemerovo Region Governor Ilya Seredyuk pompously declared, "Every face is a story of courage and the strength of our Kuzbass." The exhibition is planned to leave the regional center after July 20th and tour other cities in the region.
