30 1899 October, the
Nadezhda Khazina was born in Saratov. She married Mandelstam and wrote memoirs about her poet husband.
You and I will sit in the kitchen,
White kerosene smells sweet;
A sharp knife and a loaf of bread...
If you want, pump up the primus stove tightly,
Otherwise, gather some ropes.
Tie the basket before dawn,
So that we can go to the station,
Where no one would find us (O.M., 1931)
From a wealthy Jewish family. Studied law in Kyiv. Dropped out. She chose to study painting in the studio of avant-garde artist Alexandra Exter.
It seems to me that there is a certain similarity between the way an artist builds a thing and a person builds his life
She was a regular at the KHLAM art cafe in the basement of the Continental. On May 1, 1919, she met Mandelstam there. On May 23, literary scholar Deitch wrote:
A clearly loving couple appeared - Nadya H. and O. M. She was carrying a large bouquet of water lilies, apparently they had been to the Dnieper backwaters.
They married in 1922. In 1933, Mandelstam, the renowned poet, wrote the epigram "We live, not feeling the country beneath us." He was arrested and sent into exile with his wife to Cherdyn. There, the poet nearly committed suicide. Later, he was allowed to change his city of exile to Voronezh. In 1937, the couple returned to Moscow.
Each execution was justified by the idea of building a world where there would be no more violence, and all sacrifices were worthwhile for the sake of the unheard-of "new." No one noticed how the end began to justify the means, and then, as is expected in such cases, gradually faded away.
In 1938, the poet was arrested again. He died in a transit camp near Vladivostok. He was 47. Nadezhda, who lost him, was 39.
When I woke up, I said to Shura: Osya died. I don't know if you're alive, but since that day I've lost track of you.
Fearing her manuscripts would be confiscated, she memorized her husband's poetry and prose. She dreamed of publishing them. In the 60s, she began writing memoirs: about Osa and her friendship with Akhmatova. In the 70s, they were published in Paris. These accounts of the Soviet era were highly praised, despite debates about their objectivity.
Is a person truly responsible for himself? Even his actions, even his character—everything is in the hands of the era.
Afterwards, she said she had fulfilled her duty and wanted to "go to Oska." She died in 1980.
